When I first moved from Lunenburg to Halifax 10 years ago my mom wrote me a note on a piece of paper she slipped into my hand as we were saying bye. The note was reminding me to not ever feel like I needed to be small.
My heart’s desires to help others, to explore the world and life, to respond to the callings of my souls purpose and to be from a small place but wanting to be BIG was how I was feeling and still feel. I always wanted to be independent. Getting that note made me cry because my parents are awesome and I feel they did the best they could to allow me to be me but also wanted to keep me “safe” 24/7
My mom writing that on a note made me feel like I was finally starting to be seen. Anytime I start feeling small or like I need to be small to please others I think of her note. There are times, and I’m sure many other women and men feel this way- you start to slip into a version of yourself that is toned down because you’re afraid of how others will think of you, talk about you and judge you. We do it without realizing it because we have a belief that the way we make others happy means that we are doing a good job. What we also don’t realize is that we may not be happy making others happy.
Meeting the love of my life and embracing our lives together allows me to be me fully. I’m big. I get to be all me . While also being happy and making him happy to. I get to help so many people and what’s even better is that combined we get to help so many more people in so many massive ways! We have times that call each of us to lean in, support each other, love harder when triggered and just plain do what feels good.
Wherever you are feeling small whether at home or at work or anywhere in life- know that you can make the choices that fulfill your soul and others will accommodate, or move out of the way, or leave or guess what- they may actually love you even more because you’ve finally started to love all of you!
I just heard “all of me loved all of you” in my head writing this.