I use the word most because I don’t ever want any person on the planet to read something I wrote and think, ”OMG I don’t fit into what she wrote. There must be something wrong with me.” You’re not wrong for wanting what you want. You’re not wrong for needing what you need. You never have been either.
I believe whenever systems were first created, whoever/whatever group at the time were giving input on this kind of creation, realized humans are complex. so many feelings, thoughts, emotions, opinions, backgrounds, etc. “They” realized that this was complicated and in order to make things simple they created ways of being and categories. For example, ”this is what boys do and this is what girls do.” ”You qualify for this job depending on your grades not because you have a natural talent for this or because its your livelyhood”. ”You can make this much and spend this much and you can serve these people but not your self.”
I can see how and why this may be useful during times of war or great depression. This also may be usedup during a time you are grieving or you’re dying or someone else is dying. During these times, things need to be simple because you do only have so much energy. You want to use your energy and resources to survive this drastic and hard and life or death times.
But, what happens when all of that is over? The war ends or you’re removed from it. The person dying, died. You came out of your own depression and darkness. Food and money are flowing again. You may associate this with the fact that ”you survived”.
But then what?
The picture is painted for us and given to us in a way that now we are supposed to go back to being happy, change yourself from this survival state and just go on with your life because now everything is ”perfect”.
But there’s actually a whole part there that involves the shake. Ok, I don’t know if you’re into country music but whenever I think of the word ”shake”, I think of this song:
The Shake is your body releasing the Trauma. I was in an car accident this week. I have no physical injuries and my car is prolly wrote off but I did shake. A girl ran a res light while also speeding. I pulled out on the green light and smashed right into her. I pulled into a parking lot and started to shake and cried a bit. I’ve wrote off a car before while hydroplaning and actually went into shock so during this time it felt like, ”Ok, I know whats happening.” “Knowing This”, I let the shake happen instead of resisting. It reminds me of how animals shake and birds flap their wings to release trauma. I kept breathing and went across the road to the girl in her car and she also was crying and shaking. This was her first accident.
The shake releases the trauma.
Physical activity also completes whats called the stress cycle. Stressors and stress are two different things. There are the things that ”trigger” the stress and then theres the stress response that can stay stuck in our bodies. Sometimes we can remove stressors but not always. What we can do is remove the stress from the body so we can tell ourselves it’s safe. We are safe.
This physical activity can be yoga or/and pilates. A workout. A walk or run. Dancing. Anything that moves your body physically. I believe this is why moving your body every day even if its 20 mins is so important. Its to bring your back go safety not because you need to focus on a certain weight or body shape.
Allow your mind, body and spirit to process. This can be hours, days or years. Trust your divine intelligence system within you, don’t rush this.
During the times we release stress and come back to self we get to know ourselves even more. That’s why its so important to know you’re not supposed to feel like you’re a simple being. We are all complex.
This brings us to our title. What most women want and need doesn’t fit into a fear based or survival system. We need space. We need someone to mirror back to us that we know ourselves. We can trust ourselves. We need calm. We need time to shake. We need time to explore and thrive. We want to try new ways that promote safety. We want to be. We want to be seen and heard.
We want these things from ourselves, our partners, families, friends, community and the ”other systems in place“.
We want our power back. We want to feel power-Full again.
Keep going to your Self. Move your body. Listen. Speak. Express. Take your time. Take your power back and know your Self so well that you are open to seeing what others believe but you know you don’t need to believe that and vice versa.
Have a look at the courses section on my website here. Every program is designed to complete the stress cycle and to being you to your Self when the noise gets so loud.